Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
