pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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