just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
