So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
