There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
