i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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