All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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