Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize