i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
