You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
