Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
