Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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