He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
