why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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