next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
