oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize