It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
