summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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