so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
