he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
