You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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