dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
