What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
this is an emotional support booty call
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There's even glitter on my cock...
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