so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
