We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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