Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
