he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
