therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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