I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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