They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
