you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
