$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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