Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
