Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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