Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize