God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
