fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
