Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
