Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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