listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize