My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
