I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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