dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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