Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize