I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
