just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize