i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
