I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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