Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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