First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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