i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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