Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
