At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
