oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize