yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
