I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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