Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
