I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
