I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
