I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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